humor

Moderators: Astarin ShadowPrince, Zahrim

humor

Postby Saleb » January 14th, 2006, 12:10 am

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a
>>>>>> loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door. A
>>>>>> drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
>>>>>> "Not a chance," says the husband, "It is three o'clock in the
>>>>>> morning."
>>>>>> He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his
>>>>>> wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you
>>>>>> help him?" she asks. "No. I did not. It is three o'clock in the
>>>>>> morning and it is pouring rain outside!! "
>>>>>> His wife said, "Can't you remember about three months ago when
>>>>>> we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help
>>>>>> him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
>>>>>> The man gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain. He
>>>>>> calls out into the dark : "Hello! Are you still there?" "Yes," comes
>>>>>> back the answer.
>>>>>>"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
>>>>>>"Yes! Please!" comes the reply from the darkness.
>>>>>>" Where are you?" asks the husband.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>"Over here on the swing!!" replies the drunk.
>>>>>
>>>>>
A story with a moral:

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt.

God works in mysterious ways.

After ! they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine, celebrate our good fortune and see where the evening leads."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police....
!



MORAL OF THE STORY:

Women are clever, evil bitches. Don't mess with them..




Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that y! ou're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®.

Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister



A patient awakened after a serious operation only to find herself in a room with all! the blinds drawn.

Why are all the blinds closed?" she asked her doctor.

Well, the surgeon responded, "They're fighting a huge fire across the street, and we didn't want you to wake up and

think the operation had failed."



Saleb :lol:
Saleb
 
Posts: 188
Joined: November 3rd, 2005, 3:14 am

Postby Mistress Chesse » January 28th, 2006, 3:56 am

Women are clever, evil bitches. Don't mess with them..

This actually works well as the moral for most stories.
Though we live in trying times - we're the ones who have to try.

Shiny!
Mistress Chesse
Delicate Flower of Carnage
 
Posts: 1589
Joined: April 15th, 2004, 1:51 am
Location: Just Outside the Blast Radius


Return to Azivision

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron