Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck...

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Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck...

Postby Skyskipper IronCross » January 25th, 2006, 11:50 pm

Generic shit, found it on my p0rn site, worth a chuckle....

Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personal Ads:

40-ish ........................ 49.
Adventurous .............. Slept with everyone.
Athletic ...................... No breasts
Average looking .......... Moooo.
Beautiful .................... Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure ... On medication.
Feminist .................... Fat
Free spirit .................. Junkie
Friendship first .......... Former slut.
New-Age ................... Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-Fashioned ........... No BJs.
Open-minded ............. Desperate
Outgoing ................... Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional .............. Bitch
Voluptuous ................ Very Fat
Hugh frame ............... Hugely Fat
Wants soul mate ....... Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry - You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit - I'm gay
Skyskipper IronCross
<a>Level 71 Cleric </a>
The Rathe
Scarlet Phoenix
<B><I> "Some raise by sin, and some by virtue fall"</b></i>
Skyskipper IronCross
Alts are gay.... mmmmk
 
Posts: 913
Joined: April 15th, 2004, 6:26 am
Location: Uranus

Postby Mistress Chesse » January 28th, 2006, 3:53 am

Men are easy to please. Show up naked, and bring beer.
Though we live in trying times - we're the ones who have to try.

Shiny!
Mistress Chesse
Delicate Flower of Carnage
 
Posts: 1589
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Location: Just Outside the Blast Radius

Postby Direblade » January 28th, 2006, 7:15 am

Not true Chesse,

To truly please4 a man, show up naked, with beer, a fishing boat, and enough money in the bank to allow us to comfortably retire so we may adequately enjoy the beer, your nakedness, and the fishing boat :twisted:
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79 SK, Leader of the Vendetta
Dire + Ry makes 3 -- maybe more
Direblade
I talk too much
 
Posts: 1226
Joined: November 2nd, 2005, 10:48 pm

Postby Lithaem » January 28th, 2006, 7:25 am

See, the difference was the word "truly". We dun care all THAT much :twisted:
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
<b>Friedrich Nietzsche</b>, <i>Beyond Good and Evil, Aphorism 146 </i>
Lady Lithaem
Lithaem
I talk too much
 
Posts: 853
Joined: April 16th, 2004, 2:36 am

Postby Direblade » January 28th, 2006, 7:40 am

Chuckles at Lithy
Image
79 SK, Leader of the Vendetta
Dire + Ry makes 3 -- maybe more
Direblade
I talk too much
 
Posts: 1226
Joined: November 2nd, 2005, 10:48 pm

Postby Mistress Chesse » January 28th, 2006, 2:04 pm

I'm not bringing fishing boats...I get seasick. The second time Bear and I went to Hawaii we chartered a fishing boat so Bear could bag a marlin. I was so sick the captain decided to turn back.

Needless to say, the next time we went, Bear chartered the boat and I spent the day at the resort spa. He had to drink all the beer and catch the marlins by himself.
Though we live in trying times - we're the ones who have to try.

Shiny!
Mistress Chesse
Delicate Flower of Carnage
 
Posts: 1589
Joined: April 15th, 2004, 1:51 am
Location: Just Outside the Blast Radius


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